These are just a small sampling of the thousands of cards I've published with such companies as
Recycled Paper Greetings, Papyrus, Marcel Schurman Fine Papers; American Postcard Company, Avanti Press,
Smart Alex, Nobleworks, Design Design, Portal Publishing, and others


You too can be a greeting card designer! Lookie here!

At least after shopping, if you're not
satisfied, you can return it for
something you really like


So I smacked his face!
Feel Better Soon!

A donation has been made to
Our Lady of Perpetual Shopping


Think of it as your inner child playing with matches
Happy Birthday

That's a polite way of saying
"You fart a lot, but I love you anyway."
Happy Birthday
(also Happy Valentine's Day)

You're looking sharp, Birthday Girl!

If you're looking for someone
to give you an expensive gift,
see someone else.
Happy Birthday

"Sorry lady, we can't help you."
Happy Birthday to a natural beauty!



Fortunately, I'm incredibly well-adjusted
so I know you'll still like me even though
I'm only giving you a cheap card.
Happy Holidays.



It's your birthday...
let's make a big stink about it!

Just ask Tiffany.
She's 23.

Unfortunatey, they have to kneel to do it.

Happy Birthday


I can't cook for shit.


May all your wildest birthday
fantasies come true!


(on handwritten note:)

Harvey birdy two hue and Minnie mower.
Happy Birthday.

(Get the message?)


You can try to keep them quiet
but the ones closest to you always know!

Happy Birthday!

One man to do the cooking,
the other to do the cleaning.

Happy Birthday

Gunnar was devasted when, at age 43, his parents finally told him Santa wasn't real (
May your holidays always
be filled with childlike wonder


And save me some cake.


It's your birthday.
You're old.
Deal with it.


It's only a birthday.
Try to keep a stiff upper lip!


...perhaps he should have been more specific
when he asked for a "big cock"

Happy Birthday


In New Guinea, you'd be a GOD!
Happy Birthday!


Happy Birthday to someone who
handles aging incredibly well
(must be all those years of practice)

I'm trying hard to give a shit.
Happy Birthday


Happy Birthday.
Your room is ready.

Because tomorrow we go back
to treating you like shit.

Happy Birthday


Congratulations and Happy Birthday
"Sits on Couch with Remote Control"

is a shopping bag in each hand.
Happy Birthday.

Artwork by Monisha Raja

At least after shopping, if you're not satisfied,
you can return it for something you really like

Artwork by Monisha Raja


This time, you're really sick!

(Hope you feel better soon.)


Louie Award Winner

The search goes on...

screaming "When did my boobs start
looking like tennis balls in tube socks?
Where did this big butt come from? Hey!
Who switched my body with my grandmother's!?!?

Happy Birthday

Oh. I see you've met
Chief Flinging Bull.

Have a beautiful birthday!


Heck, if it weren't for flashbacks,
I'd have no memory at all.
Happy Birthday.


On your birthday,
hope you manage to have SOME fun!

Or if not proud, at least
not embarrassed
Happy Mother's Day


Happy Birthday!
Hope it's a gas!

Whew! Safe on both counts!

Happy Birthday!




He asked to be young again with
a big cock between his legs.
Happy Birthday
(be careful what you wish for!)

Another year older, proceed with caution!
Happy Birthday


...if you'd just let go of
your wiener for 5 minutes!
Happy Birthday

Still looking good, girlfriend!
Happy Birthday


Just think of the tales we can
tell around the campfire!
Happy Halloween!






And on a more serious note...

(blank inside)

(this card is embossed)

Loving memories last forever.

(inside copy next box)


Some Postcards






Some Mugs





Some Magnets





Some Post-Its