I'm not quite sure if I'm right or wrong on this issue because I've gotten a lot of different reactions from friends. The other night, I was out with my girlfriend in a bar. When I came out of the restroom, she was talking to some guy at the bar. He appeared to be hitting on her. I casually walked up to them. She introduced me as her boyfriend, then turned her back on me and continued talking to the other guy. I got really upset and left her there at the bar and went home. She was really drunk, which is her excuse. I've always taken the position that if I'm with my girlfriend, I'm not supposed to talk to other random chicks at bars, especially right in front of my girlfriend. God knows I've gotten burned before for doing so.

So, my question is, what is the proper etiquette when dealing with members of the opposite gender at places such as bars when you're with your significant other, where convention dictates that such places are where people go to pick up? Do you think there's a standard out there?

-- Confused About Bar Etiquette


Dear Confused:

I'm with you. I think it's bad manners to ignore your date. I'm sure if the situation had been reversed, and your girlfriend had found you deeply involved in conversation with another woman, and you did not draw her into that conversation with you, she'd have been pissed.

That said however, I suspect your girlfriend knew perfectly well that her behavior was unacceptable. The real question is, why did she do it? Perhaps she was pulling some passive-aggressive stunt because she was annoyed at your for something else. Maybe she wanted to see if she was still attractive to other men. Maybe she wanted YOU to know she was still attractive to other men as a warning to treat her right or she could easily find someone else. Or, it's possible she's no longer happy in your relationship and is testing the waters to see if she's still got it.

Whatever her reason, rather than getting angry at what she did, it would be more helpful to understand why she did it. It's clearly a symptom of something else.