| Control
Yourself
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I'm a 19-year-old guy and recently started dating Stacy. Stacy is
25 and much more sexually experienced than I am, which is great. She's
very adventurous and even somewhat aggressive, which I like. The first
(and only) time we were together, we were alone in her apartment and
she started kissing and fondling me. I got so hard, so fast, I felt
out of control. When she straddled me and sat on my lap, I just couldn't
help myself and came in my pants. I was humiliated and very disappointed
because I was looking forward to having sex with her. She wasn't angry,
and in fact, seemed kind of amused by the whole thing. "Don't worry
about it. You'll learn," she said. If this is something learnable,
I want to learn it now! I don't want to go through another embarrassing
session like the last one, assuming she'll even give me another chance.
What can I do to prevent this from happening in the future?
--Quick on the Trigger
Dear Quick:
Do you want the instant fix or the long-term fix? Let's start with
the latter. When masturbating, most young men, from an early age,
aim for the quickest possible orgasm. They race to finish either because
they're too goal-oriented, or because they have limited privacy and
are afraid somebody is going to walk in on them. Over time, this "hardwires"
the motherboard into quick climaxes. They don't learn to pace themselves.
They don't enjoy the sensations for their own sake. Fortunately, these
bad habits can be unlearned. Next time you masturbate, take it nice
and slow. See how long you can tease yourself without coming. Enjoy
bringing yourself right up to the edge without going over. When you
feel yourself on the verge of climax, stop touching yourself and allow
the sensations to subside. If you feel you're going to come anyway,
squeeze the head of your penis to stave off the impending explosion.
Before long, you should be able to read your body better and have
more control over your orgasms.
Until you achieve such mastery, however, there's always the tried
and true trick of jerking off before your date. That'll take some
of the steam out of your engine, for a little while at least, and
may buy you a little more time between lift off and ejection.
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