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Lick 'er is Quicker
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I love to perform oral sex on women. I could spend my life with my
tongue between a woman's thighs. My new lover, however, doesn't like
me to go down on her, and it's driving me crazy. I know I'm good at
it. I've been doing it for years and have only gotten rave reviews,
so that's not the issue. I don't understand why she resists giving
herself and me so much pleasure. How can I convince her to relax and
enjoy it?
--Gives a Lickin' and Keeps on Tickin'
Dear Lickin'
God knows, there are probably dozens of reasons a woman doesn't like
oral sex-or at least thinks she doesn't like it. Many women
are self-conscious about their nether regions -- the way it looks,
the way it smells. Allowing a man to "sniff around down there" is
also an act of incredible intimacy, which some women find difficult
to handle.
Another possibility is that she's had difficulty achieving orgasm
via oral sex in the past, and is afraid she's going to disappoint
you, embarrass herself by appearing to be "frigid" (how I hate that
word!) or hurt your masculine ego by not being able to produce the
appropriate reaction even after two hours of dedicated muffin munching.
The best way to get to the bottom of this is to discuss it with her.
Rather than bringing it up in bed, when she's "on the spot," have
your chat in an intimate but non-sexual setting-for example, over
a quiet candlelit dinner, or with a glass of wine relaxing on the
sofa. Don't approach the subject as if she has a problem. This
is relationship issue, which is a problem you need to work through
together.
Let her know how much you love her feminine taste and smell, and how
much pleasure it would give you to pleasure her in that way. Tell
her you've noticed her resistance and ask her if she wants to talk
about it. Go from there.
One suggestion: If her issue is that she can't climax that way, let
her know it's OK. Give her permission to just relax and enjoy it with
no "goal" in mind. You both might find that once the pressure is off,
pleasure becomes more spontaneous.
Oh, and as long as we're on the subject, a little secret technique:
While using your tongue, don't forget to massage her G-spot with your
finger. It's mind-blowing!
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