On a first date, what do you think babes prefer--rolling out all the stops and impressing the hell out of them or acting reserved and increasing the intrigue?

Feast or Famine?

Dear F or F:

Unfortunately, there is no written-in-stone answer to this question. Every woman is different and requires slightly different finessing. It's probably safest, however, to adopt a middle-of-the-road approach.

Take out a woman and blow your entire week's paycheck on champagne and caviar, and she's going to expect this kind of treatment all the time. If you're out of your financial depth, you obviously can't keep this up very long. Believe me, no woman is worth going into debt over, (unless, say,  you've got to hock your home to pay for your beloved's liver transplant.) And what kind of message are you sending anyway?  "Love me for what I buy you?" That's not very conducive to true love. In my experience, only the most insecure men pull out all the stops too early in the relationship. These are the guys who are afraid their natural charm will not be sufficient. (Generally, they're right.) That's not to say there aren't plenty of women who'll gladly continue to accept your expensive dinner engagements and other treats without actually caring about you. Bottom line is, you can't buy love or even affection or respect. You can only rent the pretense of them.

On the other hand, there are few women worth loving whose idea of a great first date is sitting on the sofa with a six-pack of cheap beer and a bag of pork rinds, watching a Beevis and Butthead marathon. You've got to show a little class. Make some effort and dare I say, sacrifice, to show her a good time. Any woman who accepts any less has no self-respect, and that's certainly not somebody with whom you want to become emotionally involved.