| Tres
Bien, Lesbian
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear Babe:
My girlfriend, "Jane",
and I recently got to talking about threesomes, and I mentioned
that, as with most straight guys, it's always been a big fantasy of
mine to make love to two beautiful women at once. Jane didn't seem
at all turned off or angry at the idea. In fact, she seemed to be
into it as much as I was.
I didn't realize quite how much,
however, until three days later, on a Friday night, when she went
out alone to a lesbian bar to "recruit a willing playmate," as she
put it. Jane returned home after 2 a.m., a little bit tipsy and in a
very happy mood. When I asked her if she'd found us a playmate, she
said she hadn't.
That was a couple of months ago. Since then,
she's been back to that bar without me, three more times. She always
comes home late, having failed in her mission. I'm beginning to
wonder what's going on. Is she just yanking my chain? Is she using
it as an excuse to party without me? Is she cheating on me? Is she
secretly angry that I want to play with another woman, and this is
how she's "punishing" me? I really don't get it, and I'm hoping you
can figure it out.
-- Confused Casanova
Dear
Confused Casanova:
Oh, I don't think Jane has failed in her
mission at all. In fact, I think Jane is succeeding quite well.
Based on your letter, I get the impression that Jane is probably
more interested than you in experimenting sexually with other women.
Perhaps walking into a lesbian bar, cold, was a difficult threshold
for her to cross, but being able to tell herself that she was just
"looking for a playmate" for you, was all the excuse she needed.
Once inside, she probably felt comfortable and was able to relax.
It's likely she met many attractive women who came on to her, but
who had no interest in a threesome which included
you.
Whether Jane is realizing that she's actually a lesbian
and prefers only women, whether she's toying with a streak of
bisexuality or whether she's just trying out different aspects of
her sexuality and will eventually decide women are just not for her,
I can't say. Perhaps she can't either at this point, but I think an
honest talk between you is in order.
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