| Strangers
in the Night
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I had a blind date last week with a great woman. We met for a couple
of drinks after work but we ended up talking at the bar until almost
10 p.m. I walked her to the bus stop and gave her a small kiss goodnight.
I told her I'd call her soon and hoped we could get together again.
We seemed to be on the same wavelength. I called her a couple of days
later, and she was kind of cool to me. When I asked her out, she made
some kind of lame excuse. I'm very confused. I thought she liked me
as much as I liked her. What did I do wrong?
Confused
Dear Confused:
Who knows? Maybe nothing. Haven't you ever gone out with a woman you
thought you liked at the time, but then changed your mind after the
fact? It happens all the time. Maybe she really likes you a lot and
that scares her. Or perhaps, in retrospect, she found something about
your conversation or behavior less than acceptable. Not having been
a fly on the wall during your date, nor privy to her subsequent conversations
with her girlfriends during which your every word and nuance of behavior
was undoubtedly analyzed ad nauseum (Hey, women do that. It's
our job…), I cannot tell you precisely what turned her off, if in
fact anything specific did. Here are just a few possibilities that
I toss out for your further consideration:
You say you met for a few drinks and sat in the bar until 10. Did
you offer to buy her dinner during this time? If you didn't, perchance
she took it as an indication of unwelcome frugality. Or maybe she
was drinking on an empty stomach and was feeling loose and uninhibited
at the time, but looking back, regrets the conversation. Or perhaps
in her slightly tipsy condition, she was willing and able to be cordial,
but on further reflection, decided you were not the guy for
her.
You say you put her on the bus and sent her alone off into the dark,
city night? Slightly drunk, no less? Not exactly the behavior of a
man most women would consider "boyfriend" material.
Here's a bit of very helpful advice for you guys out there: If you
meet a woman you really like, treat her as if she were the most precious
thing to you. See her home to her door. Be sensitive to her needs
and safety issues. Be a complete gentleman. If she doesn't treat you
with the same consideration, you have time to dump her later. But
if she turns out to be The One, you won't have to worry that she'll
dump you because you've behaved like a jerk.
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