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Crash? It Was Just My Heart Breaking
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I went through my second divorce less than a year ago, and my heart
was broken very badly. I was deeply in love with my ex-wife. I recently
met a very interesting woman, and she has asked me out. I don't know
how to feel about it. Should I stick to my guns and not date? Or should
I give it a chance? I am afraid to get hurt again. What should I do?
Still Smarting
Dear Still Smarting:
Yeah, well, unfortunately life is full of heartbreak and disappointment.
I don't doubt your breakup was painful, but eventually you're going
to have to move on with your life and allow your heart the chance
to heal.
Why stick to an arbitrary policy of not dating anyone? What does that
accomplish? Do you think it's better to spend the rest of your life
alone, pining away for your ex, never getting involved with another
woman as long as you live? That's not going to protect you. It's only
going to isolate you. As they say at the gym, "no pain, no gain."
You have to take risks in life to achieve anything worthwhile.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to allow yourself to be vulnerable
again after you've had your heart trampled and dragged through the
mud. It's not so much that you don't trust others, it's that you don't
trust yourself to decide who is worthy of your love. Ultimately however,
learning to trust yourself is the only way to trust others,
and the only way to eventually fall in love again. If it means you
have to weather some heartbreak and pain to get there, so be it. It
needs to be done. You've got to toughen up your "emotional muscle,"
roll with the punches, and learn as much as you can about yourself
from each relationship, good or bad. If you do these things, eventually
the love far outweighs the grief.
I say, go out with this woman and take it slowly. See where it goes.
There's no guarantee she won't break your heart too, but if you don't
risk it, you might be missing out on the love of your life.
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