| Hello
Young Lover
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I've recently begun talking with an older woman. At this point, that's
all it is, talk. I'm really starting to like her however, and would
like to ask her out. The thing is, I don't know if she even likes
younger guys, if she's interested in me in particular, or if she's
just being nice and friendly. What's the best way to handle this?
Young Love
Dear Young Love:
Women are women, no matter what their age. A self-confident man who
treats us with respect is always a gem. We like being flattered and
made to feel sexy, beautiful and desired -- body and soul. Women do
however, seek different things from relationships at different points
in their lives. A woman in her early 20s or a divorcee of any age
might be more inclined to enjoy the occasional fling, even with a
man who's younger and possibly not "marriage material." A woman in
her late 20s to late 30s, who's never been married and whose biological
clock is ticking madly, may be focused only on men who are willing
to commit to having babies, a house in the suburbs and matching china.
Before you begin, you must ascertain which category your lady friend
falls into. If you're 22, and she's 35 and husband-hunting with the
determination of a Crusader searching for the Holy Grail, my guess
is you two won't be more than buddies. If, however, you're 22 and
she's 45, divorced and horny, I'd say you have a pretty good shot.
The bottom line is, you'll never know her feelings until you ask.
Start slowly. Ask her on a "casual" date -- a free concert in the
park, or a trip to the beach. Choose someplace where there won't be
an issue of who pays. That way, it's not quite an "official" date
-- you're just spending time together. If all goes well, up the ante.
Try a movie, a fair, a boat or auto show -- someplace where you can
pay, but which won't be a big expense and still gives you two time
together. Remember, it's still an exploratory stage. If she balks
at you paying for her, she's probably not interested in anything more
than a casual friendship. If she lets you take her out and pay for
her, she may be willing to take things to the next level. (Either
that, or she's a bitch who thinks it's a man's obligation to pay for
a woman under all circumstances, in which case, who cares if she likes
you? Get rid of her pronto!)
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