| Pick
Up Shticks
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
Is a woman naturally/basically/usually turned off by a guy approaching
her out of the blue (say, meeting her at the local coffee house) in
an obvious attempt to make a contact?
--Cruise Control in Idle
Dear Cruise Control:
I don't think women are naturally turned off to all men approaching
them out of the blue. It all depends on who is approaching
them and how they are going about it.
Let's face it, we are all attracted to certain types. A big, strapping
hairy guy may drive one woman wild with lust, while another woman
finds him just a few steps down on the evolutionary scale from Attila
the Hun.
Imagine how you'd feel if a woman you didn't find attractive approached
you. You might be flattered by the attention at first. If,
however, after you'd displayed an obvious lack of interest, she didn't
pick up your hint to take a hike, you'd quickly find her a pest. And
she probably wouldn't have a clue what she'd done wrong.
It's the same for women. If an attractive, well-spoken gentleman approaches
a single woman, politely and respectfully, and if he is her type,
she'll probably be receptive. This is particularly so in a coffee
house situation, which have replaced bars as social hangouts and meeting
places. If he's not her type, there's probably not much he can do
to attract her interest without seeming obnoxious.
When approaching a woman, try to make eye contact first. If she meets
your gaze for more than a moment or two, especially if she smiles,
it's probably safe to approach- cautiously, politely and respectfully.
If, however, as she sees you approach, she immediately sticks her
nose back in her book, turns away from you to talk on her cell phone,
or develops a sudden interest in the condition of her cuticles, she's
probably praying you don't talk to her. Best to move on to someone
else. You wouldn't want her to regard you as a nuisance.
As in all social situations, you have to use your instincts and intuition,
and learn to interpret people's body language. If these skills are
not fine tuned, either you will make an annoying ass of yourself with
great frequency, or you will spend a lot of time alone, afraid to
make the first move.
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