| What's
My Problem?
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I am a short, average looking, but a very confident guy with good
speaking skills. I have asked out some really gorgeous women with
a lot of confidence, and never once have I been refused. These ladies
have even spent the nights at my place (mainly long conversations).
Problem is, I am just unable to get these women to bed! After a few
dates they just lose interest. What could be the matter?? If it helps
your analysis, these ladies describe me as well dressed, confident,
cool, stylish and intelligent.
Suave but Unlaid
Dear Suave:
It's always a challenge to read between the lines in these letters
you guys send me. You want me to tell you why you can't get these
babes into the sack, but you don't tell me anything about those few
dates you have with them before they dump you like a hot potato. You
just tell me what a swell guy you are. So, I'm just going to have
to make a few wild guesses.
In your letter you describe yourself as having good speaking skills.
Some dates consist of long conversations at your place, well into
the wee hours. And yet, you can't score. These women obviously are
attracted to you, they like you, and perhaps more important, they
trust you, otherwise they wouldn't be willing to go back to your place.
So what's turning them off? Believe me, I've known plenty of guys
who are intelligent, stylish and sophisticated and didn't have a clue
how to treat a woman.
If these long conversations are purely intellectual, with you sitting
politely on your side of the sofa and them on theirs, perhaps you
need a little less talk and a little more action. I'm not suggesting
you attack them, but a gentle caress of the hand or face introduces
a physical aspect to things. Watch their reactions and take it from
there. Are you revealing too much in your conversations? Women like
a little mystery. Maybe you ought to play the "strong, silent type."
Are you talking too much about yourself or your own interests? If
so, ask more questions and really listen to their answers. Women like
to feel special. Spend less time trying to impress them with your
style, intellect and confidence, and spend more time finding out what
they're all about.
You say these women describe you as being well dressed, intelligent,
etc. When? Do they tell you this as a consolation prize when they're
dumping you? If so, why not take the plunge and ask for some real
honesty -- such as the reason they don't want to see you again.
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