Dear
Babe:
For my girlfriend's last birthday I bought her some very sexy,
expensive lingerie in which I knew she'd look hot. I was looking
forward to her modeling the new outfit followed by hours of hot
sex, but when she opened that box, man, was she pissed! It took
her about 30 seconds to pick a fight; said I was "objectifying
her body." Needless to say, there was no nookie for me that
night. Babe, tell me, what is her problem? Doesn't she want me to
find her body sexy? Doesn't she want me to lust after her? Or is
she just insane?
Gift Giving Guy
Dear GGG,
I don't think your girlfriend is crazy, although she might have
overreacted. Undoubtedly, she sensed this gift wasn't for her, but
for you. When you buy a present for someone, their tastes should
be considered foremost (which isn't to say you can't like it, too.)
Would you have given her two tickets to that Monster Truck Rally
you've been dying to see? I think not. You'd have instinctively
known that she wouldn't appreciate it. This isn't so different.
Oh sure, she gets to actually wear the lingerie and have sex with
you (which one can only hope she enjoys) but it is, essentially,
for your viewing pleasure. Though she might enjoy your excitement,
you are still the primary beneficiary of this gift.
Lingerie is not necessarily a bad present for a woman, but several
things should be taken into consideration. First, acknowledge that
this is more for you than her, and buy her some other stuff, too.
Things that she likes. She's less likely to be turned off to lingerie
if it's camouflaged by, say, a heaping pile of diamond jewelry.
Second, keep in mind her own body image. Perhaps you love her ample
bosom and curvaceous booty, and think she looks fetching in a fishnet
bra and thong set. Meanwhile, she feels like Shamu tangled up in
a volleyball net. This is not going to do much for her desire.
Third, make sure she knows that you love her for her mind, her soul,
her wonderful personality, and her macaroni and cheese recipe.
Fourth, let her know that this lingerie is meant to accent her exquisite
natural beauty, as a beautiful picture frame shows off a masterpiece.
Remember, it's all a matter of presentation and positioning.
