| It's
a Ho' (Shake) Down
Written
and moderated by Adrienne Gusoff
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Dear
Babe:
I used to see this
girl at a club I hang at, but we never talked. A few months ago, she
came on to me. Things got hot and heavy, and we ended up at my place
where we got down and nasty 'til the wee hours. I didn't call her
after that. Last week, she phoned to say she's pregnant with my
baby. She wants me to pay for an abortion. My question is this: How
do I know she's telling the truth? Assuming she really is pregnant
(and I'm not even sure about that), how do I know this kid is mine?
I doubt I'm the only stranger she took home from a club. What's my
obligation here? Can I demand a blood test? Should I make her prove
this is my kid? How do I know she's not scamming me and ten other
guys as well?
-- Not Your Daddy
Dear
Daddy:
What you're saying is, the girl's a slut. It's obvious
she'll screw anyone (After all, she screwed you, didn't she?) Why
should YOU have to pay for her promiscuity? Plus, she's probably a
liar and con artist too.
Well, mister, if she has loose
morals, so do you. Sex is a two-way street and you are,
theoretically, an adult. When you slept with her, without knowing
anything about her, without using protection, you abdicated
responsibility. You're a big boy. If you're going to be having sex,
you'd better be damn sure you know where your precious bodily fluids
are ending up. The next girl may get pregnant and want to keep the
baby, in which case you'll be legally obligated to pay child support
until the kid turns 18.
How do you know she's really pregnant
and not just shaking you down? You don't, unless you demand to see
the results of her pregnancy test, which is really low class. You
can insist on going with her to the doctor ("for moral support")
and/or you can write a check directly to the clinic rather than
giving her cash.
With regard to the supposed baby's
paternity, any genetic testing would be a very invasive procedure at
this point, and probably much more expensive than an abortion. Such
testing only makes sense if the child has been born and you're on
the hook for two decades of support.
I suggest you pay for
the abortion and consider this a cheap life lesson. And next time,
wear a condom!
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